RULES FOR REARING GOOD CHILDREN

RULES FOR REARING GOOD CHILDREN

Evangelist John R. Rice

[The following material is from O Timothy magazine, Volume 2, Issue 4, 1985. David W. Cloud, Editor. O Timothy is a monthly magazine. Annual subscription is US$20 FOR THE UNITED STATES. Send to Way of Life Literature, P.O. Box 610368, Port Huron, MI 48061-0368, fbns@wayoflife.org. FOR CANADA the subscription is $20 Canadian. Send to Bethel Baptist Church, P.O. Box 9075, London, Ontario N6E 1V0.]

God has been very gracious in blessing our family. All six daughters married full-time Christian workers. All are fundamental, soul-winning, Christian, modest, godly women and an honor to God and parents. So I am glad to tell briefly some of the principles Mrs. Rice and I followed in rearing our family. Of course you will understand that the blessing of God is the great matter for which we are thankful. But God uses certain principles which He has laid down in the Bible, and I will give briefly some of these principles.

1. WE LOVED THE CHILDREN, OFTEN TOLD THEM SO, TAUGHT THEM TO LOVE US AND SAY SO. Almost the first words any of our six daughters learned to say were "I love Daddy." I short. I would read two verses, then the girl next to me would read two verses, and around the table we would go until we finished the chapter. Then we might say which verse we liked best, or we might stop to memorize a verse, then we would have a circle of prayer when each would pray.

2. BEGINNING WITH THE FIRST BABY, WE STARTED OUT TO HAVE FAMILY DEVOTIONS TOGETHER. Our custom was that immediately after breakfast every girl must have her Bible, if she was old enough to read at all, and we read at least one chapter or perhaps two or three of the Psalms if they were campaign. It was a wonderful uplift in every way. When Joanna and Joy were little girls, I had them spend the night with me in the hotel in Chicago in the midst of the citywide campaign in the Chicago Arena. I plaited their hair and helped them dress. All of us played tennis together, and all of this in the midst of a very busy and exacting life.

I cannot overemphasize the importance of the whole family reading the Bible together and praying every day. In the first place, public reading of the Bible guarantees that children learn to read and therefore makes certain that study in the schools is easy. In the second place, this custom makes certain that children are taught early that the first thing in the day and the first thing in life is to submit to the will of God and find His will through His Word, and to seek to be in the place He would bless.

3. WE TAUGHT OUR CHILDREN THE BIBLE. At the breakfast table and other places the whole family together memorized Psalms 1, 8, 15, 19, 23, 24, 34, 100, 103, 121, 126, and 127. We memorized the Beatitudes, the Ten Commandments, and Matthew 28, and said the latter from memory every Easter Sunday morning. We memorized part of Luke, chapter 2, the Christmas story, and said it from memory together on Christmas Eve. We memorized John 1, 3, 14; Romans 8, 12; Philippians 4; 1 Corinthians 13, and literally thousands of verses.

4. WE SET OUT TO WIN OUR CHILDREN TO CHRIST EARLY. Each one was saved before she was six. They had sung gospel music all their lives, had been in revival services, and had been punished when they sinned. They knew themselves to be sinners who needed a Saviour. They were accustomed to talking about Christ, so it was easy to win them.

5. I PAID A GREAT DEAL OF ATTENTION TO THE CHILDREN. Though I was away in revival campaigns most of the time, I regularly and religiously wrote them letters, giving them counsel, advice, and instructions so that many of those letters are saved to this day. We went places together. They liked to sit with me at the football game because I had played and coached football and could explain the plays. We stopped for ice-cream cones together. We sang around the piano. I took them with me on a six week trip from Dallas to Binghamton, New York, for a great revival until they were college grad- uates and engaged to be married. The girls were free to invite their boy friends to Sunday dinner or to sing or study together in our home. Believe me, it was a popular place!

6. WE HAD STRICT DISCIPLINE. The children had to say, "Yes sir," and "Yes Ma'am." Even when little, they were not allowed to do much crying and no whining at all over what they were commanded to do. No rebellion was permitted and no discourtesy to parents. If a child was told twice to do something, then the third time it was vigorous discipline. They had to get up the first time they were called, had to do a task or come to a meal or a piano lesson the first time they were called. If there was some honest problem, we were willing to listen. If something needed explaining, we were willing to explain.

But whether the girls understood it or not, when an order was given, it had to be obeyed immediately. The simple truth is that since we began to demand strict and instant obedience from the time a child was less than year old, it took but few years until enough character was developed so that a hipping was rarely necessary.

We were careful to be just, careful to be consistent, careful always to do what we promised, to punish if we had said we would punish. We were quick to forgive as soon as there was honest penitence.

In the midst of it all, we loved one another, we continued our family worship together, we kissed one another good-bye, we kept open the communication channels. The fellowship between Mrs. Rice and me and the children is the most intimate of any family of mature people that I know.

7. WE HAD VERY STRICT STANDARDS ABOUT THE COMPANY THE GIRLS COULD KEEP. They never went to the movies. They never went to dances. We did not leave it for them to decide. We told them why, but we told them what to do. The girls were popular in school. Libby could be cheerleader for one season provided she could wear modest and attractive dress. Beginning, I suppose, at about sixteen, our girls were allowed to go with boys in groups. They never had dates with boys alone.

8. WE PREPARED AHEAD OF TIME TO COUNTERACT THE PRESSURE OF PUBLIC OPINION. For example, I carefully prepared my daughters ahead of time on the question of evolution. Before they went into science classes in high school they were familiar with books by Harry Rimmer and others. And they were confident that their dad, once a college teacher, knew more than any high school science teacher who might teach evolution or be against the Bible.

And they were so loaded on this matter that repeatedly high school teachers would get to the point where they would ask one of my daughters what their daddy thought about a certain problem relating to science and the Bible. We made sure that no science teacher, no movie picture, no modern literature was going to lead our girls wrong.

We were so careful about the books they read that sometimes outside reading required in high school or college was simply banned from the home. If brought home it must be gone the next day or put in the fire even if it was from the library. Since our home was so happy and the obvious blessing of God was upon it, we had more influence than the world could bring on our girls.

9. WE SET OUT TO MAKE WELL-DEVELOPED, CULTURED, CHRISTIAN WOMEN OF OUR DAUGHTERS. Therefore, they took voice and piano lessons, they sang in duets, quartets, trios. They sang in college and church choirs. They had had them say it over and over. And for years, around the breakfast table I would say to each one -- Mrs. Rice and the six daughters -- "Whose girl are you?" And they would say, "Daddy's girl!" Each girl had her duty of preparing breakfast, and each always came to wake me with a kiss and "Fifteen minutes till breakfast, Daddy." It is no secret all my daughters are very close to me and to their mother and very close to each other.

I know that God lovingly makes His plans work.